Give Me Your Sleek, Your Athletic, Yearning to Jet Ski

By David North on February 12, 2015

It had to happen. The Border Patrol picked up three youthful (and one presumably pretty well-preserved), swim-suited jet-skiers attempting an elegant (if illicit) entry on the glorious beach south of San Diego.

The women were 18, 20, and 40 years old; the guy was 15.

The Border Parol's clipped press release did not do any of the red carpet stuff — no photos of the athletic new arrivals, no names, not even a suggestion that maybe the quartet consisted of one well-to-do and fit 40-year-old mother and her three kids, which may or may not have been the case.

Everybody must have been pretty trim, however, because there is not a lot of room on even the larger (and presumably noisier) jet skis, some taking one passenger plus the driver, some two.

The Border Patrol release indicates that two jet-ski drivers took the four illegals to the San Diego beach and then turned around and fled successfully to Mexico. (In the somewhat less posh Mona Passage, between the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico, the smugglers, using less elegant vessels, abandon people to their fates on a WWII-ordnance-ridden, water-free, uninhabited island. Service must be better on jet-skis.)

Were the foursome Mexican nationals? The Border Patrol does not say, nor does it have much information on what happened next. Were they paroled into the United states — maybe a down-trodden Central American family fleeing oppression from criminal gangs?

All we learn is that: "They were transported to a nearby Border Patrol station for processing."